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1.The night of the blue aftershock tower and the night of the sailor... "This is the most money I have had on my head, inculding the time i tried to pile pound coins on top of it!!"
2.I forgot. Oh yeah. There was this time when stuff happened. To someone else. And it was funny and I laughed. Because it was SOOOO funny. And I think I let out a little bit of wee. But I guess you had to be there...
3.I wanted to do some satelite surfing in my room, so I grabbed the remote and hit the "guide" button. Nothing happened. I kept hitting that button, and still nothing would happen. I thought the batteries were dead, so I changed them. No change. It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that I releazed I had been using the wrong remote! I thought I was using the satelite remote, but instead I grabbed the one for my DVD player instead.
4.Too many to rememeber...
5.Cutting a day of High School and staying with my best friend at her house-we were watching Ricki Lake (talk show) and eating ice cream. As we're watching these "fat ladies who don't dress right" or something-My first with a mouth full of ice cream proclaims..."lookatthatfatbiotch" as ice cream splurts out of her mouth and we both burst into laughter...
6.I don't have a lot. Umm. Well, once in the first grade play I was the narrator. When I turned to speak into the microphone the set came down behind me and almost knocked me off stage. That followed me all the way to high school. Wasn't funny at the time but it is now. :)
7.This one time I was walking through a store with a friend of mine wearing a tank top. I put my hands on the inside of my shrit and started to rub my nipples and said, "I think I'll play with my nipples now" just as a woman walked around the corner. She heard and saw everything. It was one of the most embarassing yet funny moments in my life. Perhaps you had to be there.
8.This is sad but I really can't remember anything funny. Maybe because it's so early.
9.*complete blank* umm... When I was learning to drive my driving instructor was nuts, and we used to have to go round the side of a reservoir most days. He tried to convince me that the sheep on it had legs longer on one side than the other, so there were clockwise and anticlockwise sheep, and they could only go one way... also that there were uphill sheep who when they got to the top had to do roly poly's to get back down again. I ended up laughing so much that I started to cry and we had to pull over for a good five minutes. I think you had to be there...
10.Craig and Dan in the saem night inthe car park!!! lol
11.I was walking to work one day (see question 8) and it was really windy outside. I was trying to light a cigarette but the wind kept blowing my hair in my face. Afraid of catching my tresses on fire, I flung my head back to get the hair out of my face and lit my cigarette...not remembering that I had a full can of Diet Coke in the other hand. I spilled the Diet Coke all over me, and while I was hurriedly wiping the coke off, I accidentally popped the buttons on my shirt. The shirt flew open, the cigarette started to singe my hair and meanwhile, a group of 6 construction workers were in awe with my exposed breasts and whistling. I flipped them off, shouted a fuck you with cigarette in mouth, clutched my shirt back together and ran as fast as I could to work. When I got to work, I slipped and fell on my tail bone behind the register as I was trying to disarm the security system. All in one day. Graceful is a term that comes to mind.
12.The first time I ever experienced my friend Keith doing his "fake trip and fall" routine. We were in the middle of a crowded restaurant, and he suddenly does an arms-flailing-fall-on-your-face trip. Of course, I, being the good friend, asked if he was okay...and then he laughed his ass off.
13.Most of my funny memories involve accidentally losing my clothes in public, or being caught en flagrante delicto in the act of illicit but delicious sex. And since there are so many of them, it's impossible to narrow them down to just one.
14.My grandfather thought it was too dangerous to take the training wheels off my bicycle.
15.Off the top of my head? hmmm...Well, I was in the office with Eric, We started exchanging love notes. Passing them back and forth too eachother and saying what we would "do to eachother" later that night. It was getting pretty steamy, when our boss came downstairs with a client and asked if we had seen a piece of paper with some figures on it. As it turns out..it was the piece of paper that we had been writing all this stuff on. He picked it up and saw all of our love notes scrawled over his numbers..and he started reading it silently. THe client was right next to him..it was..embarrassing to say the least. I couldn't even look at our boss. But I look back on it and laugh. (good thing our boss has a sense of humor too)
16.This one time, at band camp...
17.One time I arrived home from school to the sounds of my mother shouting. I heard her shout: "Why's it still alive?! I've been dousing it with hot water for FIFTEEN MINUTES!" Then my Dad shouted back, "It's a WATER bug!!!" I don't know why, but that was just really funny. Very typical of them, I guess.
18.Telling Patty Dunn that I wouldn't dance with him at our 6th grade dance. I only said no because my mom was chaperoning.
19.my fluff and i slow danced to heavy metal. we have a plan to change the face of music. hahaha
20.After taking my first drag off my first spliff, I puked on the shoes of the guy who gave it to me... is that funny?
21.My head hurts and my day at work makes funny out of the question. I'll just go die.
22.the time i fell down and sprained my ankle in front of all the drug dealers that hang out in front of my store and didn't spill my coffee. oh, we had a laugh over that one. hardee har har...
23.I spent 30 minutes trying my car key in the lock but it was frozen. I kicked the door. Tried to jemmy it open, and poured kettles of boiling water over the lock to unfreeze it. Eventually I realised my car was the identical one parked next to it!!!!!
24.Umm.. the first one that comes to mind is me and my best friend Jamie walking down the street holding hands pretending to be lesbians to turn some guy on.. we even pretended to kiss. Why I just shared that..I have no idea!
25.Hmmm, my memories never seem nearly as funny in the retelling. Anyway, I was a councellor at 4-H camp when I was a teenager. The favorite dessert every year no matter what was lemon cake. There was a running goal to try to get as much extra lemon cake as possible. One day, lemon cake day, the cooks were making lunch and had set the cakes out to cool. It was nap time, basically councellor break time, and 5 or six of us were wandering through the patio and saw the cooling cakes. We all looked at each other then some one grabbed a cake someone else grabbed forks and we all ran. We ran, witht he cake, through teh camp, out through the parking lot and up to the graveyard where the was at least some tree cover for our nefarious cake smuggling. We then proceded to eat the whole damn thing. When we came back into camp it was about ten minutes before lunch and all the grown up organizers knew exactly what we had done. We had all eaten so much that we were all sick to our stomachs, but still had to go to lunch. As revenge the kitchen staff filled our plates full and told us we had to eat every bite. We were suddenly five again, trying to hide food in our milk contianers and napkins so we could leave without having to eat too much more. Ugh. It was so much fun, though. :-)
26.I peed in ballet class. Oh, I guess that's not funny.
27.Well since it's the freshest in my mind, it would have been me running away from the pimp-cat who was probably thinking I was one of his ho's in waiting.
28.I once did a pee in the middle of a very busy road, right beside a bright traffic island light thing for a dare.
29.The time I participated in "Naked Night" at a fraternity in college. Let's just say I am endowed and was talked into doing the running man...I was drunk and it was funny at the time.